From 0 to 60... in 10-Minutes!

by Alyssa Zirkman, Intern

Like any other YES Institute event, I got so much more than I bargained for when I attended Speakers Night. I thought I would simply work on facilitating Community Dialogues. When I left I was filled with even more love for people. It fueled my passion to make a difference on the topics of gender and orientation and become a YES Institute facilitator.

I stood in front of six other people as well as two coaches and practiced, for the first time, the role of a YES Institute facilitator. I was nervous and I was struggling to let the audience guide the conversation. At first,  I felt that I was able to "be with" my audience, as I responded to their fears and questions. I did have a tough time being authentic because I was more focused on saying the “right” thing. It was difficult for me to get out of my head and really listen to the audience’s concerns. After I  finished my practice, I received great coaching from a room of YES staff and other people participating at Speakers Night.

Normally, criticism is something I do not handle well; I tend to block out the critiques. With my new communication tools I was open to listening to the coaching. A simple ten minutes of practice and feedback left me wanting more; I want to become the best facilitator I can be. People were really generous with me, and it was like they were right there with me, to support this new purpose.

Finally, I saw people practice sharing their personal stories to become a part of the YES Institute Speakers Bureau. Even though I had heard the stories before, all the triumph and loss touched my heart in a new way. It was clear to me that YES Institute really does help others find their voice. Pretty quickly, it was time to go. Three hours went by way too fast.

Since Speakers Night, I have tried to re-focus myself on being authentic everywhere in my life. I cannot wait to continue my facilitator practice and coaching and eventually facilitate a Community Dialogue.

Act Highlights YES Institute with 'Generation MTV'

Act, an MTV blog fusing pop culture with the socially conscious, published three different articles exploring the work of YES Institute. Last week, in light of New Jersey Public Schools recent anti-bullying legislation, Act journalist Caroline Walker included a quote from YES Institute Executive Director Rachel Sottile, stating:

"Unfortunately, once we have a law, people think the job is done. Laws are the last ditch stop-gap; when all else fails, we turn to them. Real change happens when people who are knowingly or unwittingly participating in unsafe conditions change their hearts, minds and ultimately their actions."

Rachel Sottile, MS.

Two days later, Act posted a feature article about the importance of the work of YES Institute, including a quote from co-founder Martha Fugate on bullying prevention:

"Give people the tools to handle the situation and deal with it, not feel helpless and powerless about how they feel now...mirroring the fear that they pick up in the culture."

This week, Act also published an interview with YES Institute volunteer speaker Evan, a transgender male youth who started his transition in his Junior year of high school. When asked how his grandmother was able to turn from “adversary” to “ally”, Evan said:                             

Evan

“During a gender course at YES, one of the participants told my [grandmother] how she saw me not only as male, but naturally having that "male presence." My grandma, who is like a mother to me, began to cry. She said she felt the exact same way, but she couldn't bear the thought of having to lose [her] little girl... I was able to hold her and cry with her as she told me all the things she had been feeling about it.”

Later he stated: “I strongly believe that community education is the best way to help reduce and eventually eliminate teen suicide surrounding these topics, and to help stop the hate and ignorance surrounding it.”

Check out all the MTV Act articles about YES Institute by clicking on the first post, the second feature article about the work of YES Institute, or the third article about YES Institute volunteer speaker Evan.

YES Training Aims to Prevent Substance Abuse

by Mariana Ochoa

Current studies suggest that people who identify or are labeled as gay, lesbian or transgender are at higher risk for turning to substance abuse, often as a mechanism of escape from cultural shaming, family rejection and internalized loathing. The Village South (WestCare), a substance abuse treatment center in Miami, hosted YES Institute to provide the latest education on gender and orientation to their clinical staff.

The star of the day was YES Institute speaker Sky, who shared about his journey with gender among his Catholic peers and Haitian family. His moving and frank testimony won over their hearts. Thank you Sky for your amazing sharing!

Sky (center) with new Village South (WestCare) friends.

33 year old female said: "I learned that it is important to find out how someone sees themselves in terms of gender instead of just assuming their gender by how they look on the outside."

Working with Village South (WestCare) treatment providers, YES Institute is exploring the possibility of providing additional educational sessions to the center for their clients. Increasing consciousness and acculturation of gender and orientation topics can serve to prevent future youth and adults from having to turn to substance abuse to cope with misunderstanding, alienation, and fear.

49 year old participant said: "The YES dialogue gave me education that I will use in my practice with my clients, and it has made me feel like I will be more open minded."

Resident Advisors Opening Hearts & Welcoming Students

by Brittney McCabe

I remember my freshman orientation at Smith College like it was yesterday. I was in a small living room with about 30 other students - all of us anxious, slightly awkward, and perhaps more than a little scared. My Resident Advisor (RA) came into the room with a warm smile and casual demeanor, and began sharing about her experiences at Smith. She was so welcoming and approachable that my anxieties slowly began to quiet themselves. For a moment, I felt like I was in a circle of friends, and by the end of the evening, my RA had created exactly that...

This is all to say that RAs have a big job to do. They're tasked with responsibilities ranging from policy enforcer, house mother, friend, and counselor. At Florida Atlantic University, staff members make sure that incoming RAs get the training they need to create a welcoming and safe environment for all students. 

Following the tragic 2010 suicide of a Rutgers freshman who was "outed" as gay by his roommate on the Internet, we had a noticeable increase in phone calls at YES Institute from college and university housing administrators. Among those universities reaching out to YES was FAU. They wanted their incoming RAs to have access to cutting-edge curriculum on gender and orientation to prepare them to identify and respond effectively to any incidents of gender-based bullying and harassment in the dorms.

This August, I received an invitation from Lindsey, one of the coordinators for RA training at Florida Atlantic University. She requested we provide a workshop for their 85 student RAs at the FAU Boca Raton campus.

I walked into a dimly lit room full of students who had already been put through days of slideshow presentations and hours-long trainings on a cornucopia of topics. Some students had given into the exhaustion, their heads down on the table for a quick nap. But when I started introducing the work of YES Institute, and sharing about the impact gender slurs and bullying continue to have on youth, it became very clear that they were eager to have this conversation. 

Hands started to rise and students began to share their personal horror stories of bullying and harassment. They asked questions about how to act, or what to say, if they did not know which pronoun to use for a student resident. They took my business cards, asked for YES course registration forms, requested our South Florida Resource & Referral Guides to have on hand in case a student needed counseling or peer support. 

"I honestly learned a lot today. I now have a much greater knowledge of what gender and orientation really mean, and how they effect all of us. I also have a basic understanding of how to deal with situations revolving around gender. I wish more people on campus could see this presentation." –19-year-old student participant

Bottom line, I got that this group really cared. They wanted to create environments where students would flourish rather than fail. A student commented,

"This presentation opened my mind and gave me the resources to respect my residents for who they are and build a better learning community for everyone."

The presentation ended up going 20 minutes over the scheduled time as the questions just kept coming. When I finally started to pack up my things, the security guard who had been silent and sitting in the back of the room, approached me at the door. He asked for my card and, fighting back tears, thanked me and YES Institute for the work that we do. 

"My daughter is gay, and she's had a lot of tough times. It makes me really happy to know that there are people like you out there."