Monday, March 11, 2013

Listening Creates a Win/Win On and Off the Court

By Shawnice "Pepper" Wilson, Intern

Shawnice sharing her story at Communication Solutions™

Growing up I was never taught how to communicate effectively with others, especially if their views or opinions conflicted with my own. Whenever a conflict arose in communication, I learned to respond with anger. If that didn’t work, I would keep my mouth shut. I attended the University of Pittsburgh for my first two years of college and was a member of the women’s basketball team. I was named a captain my sophomore year. At 19 years of age, I was expected to lead and unite my teammates, some of whom were several years older than I was. My coaches recognized my potential to lead the team powerfully before I could see it myself. Unfortunately, during that time I was unsure how to lead the team and meet the demands of my coaches. My coaches wanted me to step up and deal with issues that were holding back the team from winning. I was frustrated because I lacked confidence in my ability to improve our team chemistry.

As a captain for a major program, I found it very challenging to lead my fellow teammates. I felt pressure from my coaches to be this perfect leader, and I didn’t think I could do it. I was involved in several conflicts with my teammates and felt like I didn’t receive respect as a captain.  Our frustrations as a team were reflected in our performance on the court. I was not equipped with the communication skills I needed to unite my team, and it was difficult to build the sisterhood needed to be successful.

Three years later I find myself in a similar situation. As a senior member of the University of Miami Women’s basketball team, I was named 1 of 3 captains for the 2012-2013 basketball season. The only difference between now and then is my ability to effectively communicate with my teammates, and I credit my new communication skills to YES Institute. Fall of 2012, I was given the opportunity to participate in their signature course, Communication Solutions™. I realized the importance of communication, and I finally learned tools to communicate effectively.

Recently, I was in a situation with my team where I was able to apply the communication model taught in the course. There was a disagreement between some of the teammates. The following day we met as a team to diffuse the situation. For the first time as a captain, I decided to listen to what my teammates were dealing with instead of coming from a place of who was right and who was wrong. This gave my teammates the space to apologize and forgive each other. As a team, we grew closer from this experience.

I learned so much from the course. Most importantly, I learned how to be with myself and accept the individual staring back at me in the mirror. Accepting who I am allowed me to be with others, thus improving how I communicate with them. I am extremely grateful for my experience at YES Institute and the lessons I took from the course. I can now proudly say I am a better leader and person simply because I learned the importance of communication.

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