How to Belong in High School

By Tico Baez

Growing up, I was always compared to my three masculine brothers. My siblings criticized me for caring about my appearance whereas my brothers could wear the same shirt everyday for a week and not be criticized. I was constantly pushed to join a sports team but my siblings were never asked to join an artistic or academic club. In high school, they played on the football team, while I performed in drama classes.

These comparisons made me feel like I didn’t belong in my own family. It seemed like no one around me was listening to me, about what I wanted. The arts became my outlet. I felt I could be myself in drama club. By my senior year, my friends accepted me just as I was. Most importantly, I felt like I could be myself regardless of others’ criticism or comparisons.

Recently, YES Institute was invited to Florida Atlantic University’s Alexander D. Henderson High School. I decided to tag along as an observer. YES Institute facilitators spoke to the entire freshman class about the expectations we all learn about gender and the assumptions we make about orientation.

During the dialogue the students were very active in the discussion.

These were some of my favorite quotes:

“I learned that people are bullied and targeted based on gender expression, not orientation. I’ve never thought of that before.”

“I have a friend who is transgender, and when Sam was talking about when he wanted to kill himself, I understood how my friend felt.”

“Your body does not decide your gender.”

“Our society is very eager to place labels on experiences that are universal. The YES Institute dialogue impacted me to think about my words and thoughts.”

I never had a discussion like this when I was in high school. It inspired me to think about all the students who may be feeling the way I did growing up, and now have a new way of thinking about gender and orientation.

These students have the opportunity to be themselves, and not have to follow the expectations set by society.