Resident Advisors Opening Hearts & Welcoming Students

by Brittney McCabe

I remember my freshman orientation at Smith College like it was yesterday. I was in a small living room with about 30 other students - all of us anxious, slightly awkward, and perhaps more than a little scared. My Resident Advisor (RA) came into the room with a warm smile and casual demeanor, and began sharing about her experiences at Smith. She was so welcoming and approachable that my anxieties slowly began to quiet themselves. For a moment, I felt like I was in a circle of friends, and by the end of the evening, my RA had created exactly that...

This is all to say that RAs have a big job to do. They're tasked with responsibilities ranging from policy enforcer, house mother, friend, and counselor. At Florida Atlantic University, staff members make sure that incoming RAs get the training they need to create a welcoming and safe environment for all students. 

Following the tragic 2010 suicide of a Rutgers freshman who was "outed" as gay by his roommate on the Internet, we had a noticeable increase in phone calls at YES Institute from college and university housing administrators. Among those universities reaching out to YES was FAU. They wanted their incoming RAs to have access to cutting-edge curriculum on gender and orientation to prepare them to identify and respond effectively to any incidents of gender-based bullying and harassment in the dorms.

This August, I received an invitation from Lindsey, one of the coordinators for RA training at Florida Atlantic University. She requested we provide a workshop for their 85 student RAs at the FAU Boca Raton campus.

I walked into a dimly lit room full of students who had already been put through days of slideshow presentations and hours-long trainings on a cornucopia of topics. Some students had given into the exhaustion, their heads down on the table for a quick nap. But when I started introducing the work of YES Institute, and sharing about the impact gender slurs and bullying continue to have on youth, it became very clear that they were eager to have this conversation. 

Hands started to rise and students began to share their personal horror stories of bullying and harassment. They asked questions about how to act, or what to say, if they did not know which pronoun to use for a student resident. They took my business cards, asked for YES course registration forms, requested our South Florida Resource & Referral Guides to have on hand in case a student needed counseling or peer support. 

"I honestly learned a lot today. I now have a much greater knowledge of what gender and orientation really mean, and how they effect all of us. I also have a basic understanding of how to deal with situations revolving around gender. I wish more people on campus could see this presentation." –19-year-old student participant

Bottom line, I got that this group really cared. They wanted to create environments where students would flourish rather than fail. A student commented,

"This presentation opened my mind and gave me the resources to respect my residents for who they are and build a better learning community for everyone."

The presentation ended up going 20 minutes over the scheduled time as the questions just kept coming. When I finally started to pack up my things, the security guard who had been silent and sitting in the back of the room, approached me at the door. He asked for my card and, fighting back tears, thanked me and YES Institute for the work that we do. 

"My daughter is gay, and she's had a lot of tough times. It makes me really happy to know that there are people like you out there."